Why men are happier people...

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: 

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

-Your last name stays put. 

- The garage is all yours. 

- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

- Chocolate is just another snack. 

- You can never be pregnant.

- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

- Car mechanics tell you the truth. 

-The world is your urinal.

- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

- Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 

- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

- You almost never have strap problems in public.

- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

- Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. 

- You can play with toys all your life.

- One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.  

- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. 

- No wonder men are happier.