Hilarious Beauty Pageant Answers!

Host : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.

Host : What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant : Uhmm…taptoy.
Host : What taptoy?
Male Contestant : Taptoy na teddy bird.

Host : What’s your ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure….
Host : Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl : Uhmm… more. (Crowd booing… ) Sige, Sige. Less, less….

Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it’s a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)

The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, “Hi! I’m Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo…,” and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts, “CITYYYYYYYY!!!!”

(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host : Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl : Maging lalaki po!

Host : Who’s your favorite author?
Contestant : Danielle Steele
Host : Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant : Because, because…Danielle Steele, I like best.

Host : How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.

Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.

Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!

Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.

Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!

Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can’t why, why can’t I!

Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.

(From gay beauty contest)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!

Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!

(From gay contest)
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading……ano nga po ulit yung question?

Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!

Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don’t have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying “Time is gold! Time is gold!”)
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!

Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?”
Contestant : That’s a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)

Host : So, you’re vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what’s that? KALABASH?

Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.

Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.

Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Uhmm… a bumble bee!

Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge…. 23 years old.

Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!

Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I’ll be 28.

Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!

Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!

Host : So you like reading, who’s your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host : But he’s your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.

Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!

Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I’m proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!

Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!

Host : What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant : Testicles!

Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn’t make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?

Read more: http://www.fedmich.com/the-best-answers-pageant-questions-and-answers/#ixzz0l39YAacW

Tips to have better communication with your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend

Handling confrontations is an art like dance. Here are some steps you can take to master the dance of communication:

1. Never use the silent treatment. --> i am guilty of this!!!
2. Never use lies to cover up short comings. --> Right on!
3. Don’t get in-laws or friends involved right away.
4. Don’t be subjective in making any conclusions.
5. Never jump into conclusions, communicate and talk it over. --> challenging, but true.,
6. Discuss what actually happened, don’t judge.
7. Find out all the facts rather than start guessing at the motives.
8. Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other.
9. Use future and present tense talking, not past tense.
10. Concentrate on the major problem, don’t divide attention by mixing in other minor problems.
11. First take care of the problems that hurt feelings in the relationship, then take care the problems arising from just differences in opinions.
12. Use “I feel” statements, don’t use “you are” statements. --> challenging!

Excerpts from http://powertochange.com/sex-love/spark/

Always be thankful ;)

I AM THANKFUL…

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .


FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.



FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS

I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.



FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Love, love, love

"If people love you, be thankful that you are one of the few whom certain people chose to show their emotions to.

Love does not demand to be reciprocated, but it does not mean it exists to be taken for granted. It should be at least, appreciated.

If you cannot return the love given to you, do not let it linger to grow alone.
If you do not want it, refuse kindly.

Love may not demand, but it also deserves a heart that will better understand."

Top 20 Things Oprah Knows For Sure!

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

Time

Time is like a river.

You can't touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Moving on

"We are afraid of letting go and leaving things behind.

We choose to hold on to things even if they are way past their expiration.

Familiarity brings comfort,.that's why oftentimes, we find ourselves stuck in the same position, even if the world around us has chosen to move on."